Escape to Paradise: Thailand's Infinite Resort Awaits
Escape to Paradise: Thailand's Infinite Resort Awaits - A Review (and a Confession)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from, and let me be theatrical, Escape to Paradise: Thailand's Infinite Resort Awaits. And honestly? I need a moment. Need to decompress. Need a Chang beer (or three). This wasn't just a holiday; it was an experience. A sweaty, sun-kissed, massage-filled experience. So, let’s get this review thing rolling already, shall we?
First, the Basics (Because I know you're practical):
Accessibility: Alright, let's be real, this is important. They claim to be accessible, and they mostly are. Elevators everywhere (thank the heavens!), and ramps where needed. BUT – and this is a big but – some of the pathways to the pools are a bit… treacherous. Not ideal for a full-on wheelchair situation. Think about it, call ahead. Maybe double-check the room's bathroom situation beforehand. Because trust me, you don’t want to find that out on arrival.
Wheelchair Accessible: Mostly. See above.
Check-in/out: Express and private options. I went private because, well, I paid for it. It was quick, easy and I was in my room by the time I finished off my complimentary fresh pineapple juice.
Check-in/out [express]
Check-in/out [private]
Internet – My Love/Hate Relationship:
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! This is a HUGE selling point, and it’s true! I was glued to my phone, for all the wrong reasons, but still.
- Internet Access, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas: The wifi was kinda spotty in the main lobby area. They kept telling me to "restart" which seemed to have a slightly negative effect on my patience.
Rooms: My Tiny Kingdom (and the odd cockroach shudders)
- They had all the bells and whistles: Air conditioning (essential!), a mini bar, an in-room safe (because, paranoia), a desk, and a gorgeous view of… well, the swimming pool. I sprung for the balcony and it was all worth it.
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: All the things. My room was generally clean, but look, I did spot a small, brazen cockroach in the bathroom on night two. Killed it with a slipper (don't judge). Still, it was a one-off, and they obviously didn’t make a habit of this, as the room was cleaned daily, and the bathroom, despite its visitor, was well-stocked with toiletries.
Cleanliness and (More Than Just) Safety: My Worries (and Their Reassurances)
Okay, let’s be honest, I’m a germaphobe. So how did they go?
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: They really went above and beyond. The staff were masked, the hand sanitizer was EVERYWHERE, and they actually cleaned the sun loungers after each use. It made me feel a bit… guilty ordering a second cocktail while others were sanitizing.
Food, Glorious Food (and My Expanding Waistline).
- If I have to choose one thing that brought me to happy tears, it was the breakfast buffet. My god, the breakfast buffet. From the moment I stepped through the entrance, I knew I'd spend my most of my time there.
- A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: The Asian food was delicious, the Western options were decent, and there was a vegetarian section that kept me mostly happy. I definitely had more than my fair share of the mini croissants. Zero regrets.
- Dining, drinking, and snacking: The food? Mostly excellent. The pool bar was a life-saver (and a wallet-drainer, let's not lie). Room service? 24/7, which is dangerous. Very dangerous.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (and Avoid the Blistering Sun):
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Okay, the spa. The SPA. I’m not even a spa person, but I booked a massage and a body wrap. And it was HEAVEN, absolutely heavenly. The massage was so perfect, I swear I floated out of the spa. The pool with a view? Gorgeous. The sauna and steam room? Excellent.
- For the kids, Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: It's definitely family-friendly. They have a kids' club and kids' meals. If you're traveling with children, you're well looked after here.
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things):
- Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: They had pretty much everything you could need. The concierge was helpful. The daily housekeeping was a godsend. The convenience store was stocked with overpriced snacks, but hey, it's a convenience store.
Security, Safety, and the Unexpected:
- Access, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms: The resort felt safe. The staff provided security all day.
- Getting around, Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: The airport transfer was smooth.
The Big Picture: What REALLY Made It "Paradise"?
- For me, it was the vibe. I didn't feel like I was on a conveyor belt of tourists. There was a sense of space, of calm. The staff genuinely seemed to care (even when I spilled my drink). And when I wanted to be left alone, I was.
The Verdict:
- Pros: Stunning scenery, excellent spa, delicious food, attentive staff, and they’re taking COVID seriously. Also, the breakfast buffet, I'm saying it again.
- Cons: Some accessibility issues, the spotty Wi-Fi in certain areas, and the aforementioned cockroach (yikes).
SEO-Friendly Conclusion (And a Persuasive Offer!):
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Escape to Cleveland: Oakwood Village's Hidden Gem! (Quality Inn & Suites)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your perfectly-curated Instagram travel feed. This is… well, it's me, loose and rambling, about a trip to the Infinite Resort in Thailand. Prepare for some realness.
The Utterly Unrealistic (But Hopefully Fun) Itinerary: Infinite Resort, Thailand - AKA, My Sanity's Vacation
Day 1: Arrival and Immediate Panic (and Maybe a Pad Thai Crisis)
Morning (ish): Ugh, the flight. Let's just say I'm not designed for 18-hour journeys. Currently I'm convinced my internal organs are trying to escape via my bladder, and the person next to me is obsessed with their armrest. I swore I saw them polish it. POLISH IT! Anyway, arriving at the Infinite Resort… which is a stunning sensory overload. Lush greenery, orchids EVERYWHERE (I'm allergic, naturally), and this hushed, almost intimidating level of service. I'm immediately convinced I'll spill something red on the pristine white tablecloths and be escorted off the premises.
Afternoon: Okay, Room check. Absolutely, gloriously, ridiculously perfect. The view alone could solve world hunger (maybe). I promptly proceed to unpack everything IMMEDIATELY. Which, as a disaster artist, is a feat in itself. Then, I tried to order Pad Thai from room service. The first attempt was a disaster; I couldn't find the telephone number. The second attempt, I was put on hold for 30 minutes. Finally I placed the order, it arrived cold. I was so hungry. I cried. Briefly. Then devoured it anyway.
Evening: Sunset cocktails. My god. The sky is on fire. And the cocktails are, blessedly, strong. I'm attempting to embrace the "Zen" of this place, but mostly I'm just buzzing and marveling at how quiet EVERYTHING is. I can't help wondering if the staff is judging my clumsy grace.
Day 2: Poolside Existential Crisis & Elephant Encounter (Emotional Whiplash!)
Morning: Ah, the pool. The ultimate stage for my poolside existential drama. I spent a solid hour floating, oscillating between feeling like an elegant goddess and a slightly-sunburnt beached whale. I tried meditating. I got hungry. I ordered a smoothie. The existential crisis deepened.
Afternoon: Elephants! This was supposed to be the highlight. And it was, in a weird way. We went to a sanctuary, which was cool. Now, let me be clear: these elephants were happy, well-cared for, and NOT being ridden. I think it was the best experience of my life! When I came face to face with one of them, I started crying (again, a theme). This big, gentle creature… just looking at me with what felt like such profound intelligence. I felt a deep, unexpected connection, despite my fear and being covered in mud. This memory is so precious to me.
Evening: Dinner at the resort's Thai restaurant. I'm trying to be sophisticated, but I ordered everything, including the super spicy curry. And then I cried. I think the spicy curry was too much for my weak stomach. Despite that, the food was incredible. It's such a gorgeous place.
Day 3: Island Hopping and Karaoke Catastrophe
Morning: ISLAND HOPPING! Sun, sand, turquoise water… the works. I even managed to snorkel (badly) and saw some fish! I'm slightly terrified of the ocean, so this was a triumph in my book. Though, I did almost get stung by a jellyfish. Minor setback!
Afternoon: More island hopping! Which mostly meant more boat rides. The scenery was gorgeous. I fell asleep, snoring loudly, which earned me some mortified glares from the other guests.
Evening: OKAY, this. This is where things went sideways. The resort has a karaoke night. I was peer pressured. I was three cocktails deep. I thought I could do this. I thought I could actually sing. I was wrong. SO, SO WRONG. My rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" should probably be erased from history. The audience was… mostly incredibly polite. I am pretty certain one woman burst into tears. Mortifying. Beyond.
Day 4: Cooking Class, Spa Day (and the Great Mosquito War)
Morning: Cooking class! Finally, something I'm good at (relatively). Learning to make green curry was fantastic. The instructor didn't seem to mind my slightly chaotic cutting style. The result was actually edible! Woohoo! Victory.
Afternoon: Spa Day! Which was heavenly. Thai massage? YES, PLEASE. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have my muscles exist. Absolute bliss. Except, I think I might have fallen asleep and drooled. Again.
Evening: The Great Mosquito War of 2024. Turns out, I'm a mosquito magnet. Despite dousing myself in repellent, I sustained a multitude of bites. I was itchy, miserable, and plotting revenge. The resort staff did try to help, but alas, I am a mosquito feast.
Day 5: Departure and Heartbreak (and a Vow to Return!)
Morning: Packing again. Ugh. This time I'm smarter. I'm sure. I carefully packed my "Leave me alone, my luggage is full" expression. One last breakfast, one last gaze at the ocean… I'm already starting to feel the pang of departure.
Afternoon: The inevitable airport. This time I felt like I'm going to miss the airport. This place… it actually grew on me. Even the awkward moments, the Pad Thai trauma, the karaoke travesty… it all added up to a wonderfully messy, imperfect, and unforgettable experience.
Evening: The flight home. I'm already planning my return. I'm a changed woman. I'm also probably a little bit broke. But totally worth it. Thailand, you magnificent, slightly-mosquito-infested wonder, I'll be back.
Escape to Paradise: Thailand's Infinite Resort Awaits - Seriously, What's the Deal? (A Very Messy FAQ)
Okay, so "Infinite Resort"... what the actual *heck* does that even MEAN? Is this some kind of hallucination?
Alright, alright, settle down, sunshine. "Infinite Resort" is *supposed* to conjure images of endless possibilities, right? Like, a resort so big, you could get lost for days and still discover new hidden beaches, secret smoothie bars, maybe even a rogue elephant doing yoga. (Okay, probably not the elephant yoga. Though... Thailand...)
The reality, from *my* experience? Well, let's just say my "endless exploration" lasted about as long as my patience for the resort's Wi-Fi. It’s a *big* resort, sure. Lots of pools, restaurants, and places to get a massage that'll leave you feeling like a noodle - in a GOOD way. But "infinite"? More like "infinitely frustrating when that one particular restaurant is booked solid for your anniversary dinner." Still, it's a *vibe*. They're aiming for it. I'll give 'em that.
Is it actually in Thailand? Because my flight got delayed for like, five hours, and I'm starting to question everything.
YES! (Deep breath). It's in Thailand. Seriously, I'm *pretty* sure. They even have those little tuk-tuks driving around. The food smells right, the heat is doing that lovely thing where you can feel your pores sweating, and the staff are wonderfully smiley... or at least, they were *before* I accidentally spilled a mango smoothie all over the concierge's pristine white shirt. (My bad, sir. Seriously, SORRY.)
Look, delayed flights are the bane of existence. I've been there. Just think of it as... extra time to mentally prepare for the awesomeness that awaits. Or mentally prepare for the potential mango smoothie mishaps, which, realistically, are a distinct possibility when you’re as clumsy as I am.
What's the food *really* like? Because I'm a picky eater and my survival depends on honest answers.
The food... okay, the food. It's good. Mostly. There's a LOT of food. Like, so much food you could probably gain a significant amount of weight just from inhaling the air near the buffet. And that, folks, is what I did.
There are multiple restaurants, covering everything from Thai classics (hello, Pad Thai, my old friend!) to more… international fare. Some restaurants are genuinely fantastic – that *one* little place serving fresh seafood with a killer view? Worth the price of admission, trust me. Others... well, let's just say they probably have their chefs flown in from the land of "mass production." (I'm not naming names.) My advice? Explore! Don’t be afraid to try new things. And maybe pack some emergency granola bars, just in case.
Okay, pools. There HAD better be amazing pools. Like, Instagram-worthy pools.
Oh, honey, the pools? The pools are *definitely* Instagram-worthy. Like, the resort is practically built around them. Infinity pools cascading into infinity pools, pools with swim-up bars (a dangerous, delicious proposition), pools with little waterfalls... it's a watery paradise.
Here's the thing, and this is a crucial piece of advice: get up early. Seriously. Stake out your territory. By 10 am, those pools are *packed* with people vying for the same prime spots. I'm talking inflatable flamingo battles, kids doing cannonballs directly into your personal space... You get the idea. So, early bird gets the scenic vista and the peace and quiet... or at least, until the first margarita-fueled singalong breaks out.
What about activities? Is there anything to DO besides eat and swim? Because I get bored easily.
Activities? Oh, yes. They've got 'em. There's everything from cooking classes (I burnt the Pad Thai. Don't judge. I’m more of a Pad *eat* kinda girl, anyway) to yoga sessions (bendy people, you're my heroes). They offer watersports, boat trips, and excursions to nearby islands. There's even a spa, where you can get a massage that'll melt away all your stress... or, you know, the stress of *planning* your vacation, which, let's be honest, is exhausting in itself.
The problem? It's a *lot*. You could literally spend your entire vacation running from activity to activity. My advice? Pick *one* thing a day, max. Otherwise, you'll just end up feeling overwhelmed and desperately needing another mango smoothie. And maybe a nap. A very long nap.
Speaking of spa... are the treatments good? I’m a sucker for a good massage.
The spa? Oh, the spa... Okay, buckle up. I had a massage. It was... ethereal. Literally. I'm not even exaggerating. The masseuse, she was a tiny woman, and she had hands of liquid sunshine. I went for the Thai massage, which, as I understand it, involves a lot of stretching and contorting. And I'm not particularly flexible.
The entire experience was something else. There was essential oil, and soft traditional music, and the amazing views, and for a blissful hour, I forgot about the overpriced cocktails, the slightly aggressive sunbathers, and the fact that my flight was probably going to be delayed again on the way home. It was that good. Pure, unadulterated bliss. Worth every single baht. Go. Just go. You'll thank me later.
Any advice for dealing with the inevitable "vacation stress"?
Vacation stress? Oh, it's real, my friend. The planning, the packing, the inevitable sunburn...it's a lot. My hard-won advice?
First, lower your expectations. Things *will* go wrong. The Wi-Fi *will* be terrible at some point. You *will* get lost. Someone *will* spill a mango smoothie on someone else. Embrace the chaos! Second, allow yourself to be utterly, completely, unapologetically lazy. Do *nothing* on one day. Just lie by the pool, read a trashy novel, and order another cocktail. It's the ultimate vacation cliché, but it works. Finally, remember you are in paradise. It's supposed to be enjoyable. Even when it's not. So just... *breathe*.
